The Day Sipper

I was on Twitter looking for other "Jessica Patrick"s and came across one that lives right down the road from me. This Jessica has a blog all about drinks and might I add....some really awesome drinks.

http://thedaysipper.blogspot.com/

Check it out!

Brick

He was gorgeous. Tall. Dark. Deliciously handsome. The first time she met him was at her favorite bar. No one that good looking had ever talked to her. Deep down inside she knew it would never work out for the long haul. He was from Connecticut and she was from Georgia. They both worked for two rival sports apparel companies. The only thing they had in common was a mutual friend.

After getting to know each other over scrambled eggs at the Huddle House, the two of them spent every moment together. They would go play miniature golf, go to the water park and spend countless nights together watching movies. He even took her to Chuckie Cheese so she could play skee ball. Neither one of them had to act like someone they weren’t. It was heaven for both of them. She loved him terribly.

Several weeks into the romance, he asked her to go with him to visit his parents in Connecticut. She couldn’t go because of work but vowed to remain true to him while he was gone. So off he went and she stayed behind counting the days until he returned.

While he was gone she got sick to her stomach every day. It must have been her nerves from missing him so much.

He finally returned but things weren’t the same between them and never would be. She had a new life inside of her that had never been in her before and he wasn’t ready for this new life. She felt abandoned by him in her most desperate hours of need. All she wanted was for him to say everything would be okay and he’d be there for her. The only thing he was there for was the hour and half drive down the interstate.

My First Kiss

I know I’m seriously behind on the times especially when it comes to music. When I was younger, I always knew the newest best songs on the radio but in the past few years I’m lucky to know any songs that aren’t sang by The Fresh Beat Band or the Backyardigans. A few months ago, I turned the television to CMT and fell in love with Kelly Clarkson after hearing her sing Don’t You Wanna Stay with Jason Aldean. I’ve watched the video over and over and finally for the first time heard it on the radio today. I had a three hour window in my car by myself….it was heaven! I’ve listened to the song numerous times and have finally come to the conclusion it’s a song written about a first date or either a rekindled love. It really doesn’t matter, the song is awesome. It makes me think about my first kiss. Oh, how long ago that was!

My first kiss happened when I was in the seventh grade. It was nothing like I imagined nor what I expected. I’m not sure what I expected but certainly not what happened. It was one of those awkward moments when you’re not sure where to place your hand or which direction you should tilt your head. All I can say is that it went wrong, terribly wrong. During the middle of this “passionate” middle school smooch, the guys tongue went straight up my nose when I adjusted my head. Sadly, I was too grossed out that he had tried to suck my lips off of my face to even think badly of him cleaning my boogers from my nose.

That happened on a Friday. By that next Monday, everyone at school heard what happened and I broke up with him. It was just too humiliating to walk around with him knowing more about the texture of my snot than I did. Summer break was a week later. And now almost 20 years later, I’m finally talking about it. I need a therapist.

Don't You Wanna Stay - Jason Aldean - Jason Aldean Videos

Dirt Road Anthem

Last Wednesday night I watch the CMT Awards and was sooooo happy to see Colt Ford doing a little bit of entertaining even though he was cut to a commercial. I was even happier at the end of the show when Jason Aldean performed his cover of "Dirt Road Anthem" along with Ludacris. "Dirt Road Anthem" was written by Colt Ford and Brantley Gilbert. The song is about the good ole days and was written about the small community where I was raised. Potts Farm is about 1/4 mile down the road from my parents.

I've been reading blogs and comment posts about the performance with Ludacris and so many people have been really negative about the entire thing from Jason Aldean doing the cover to having a rapper included in the song. There wasn't anything wrong with the song or the performance. I guess my irritation with the complaints is the fact that the complainers don't realize how much the human products of the 70's and 80's (and the 90's but they aren't my generation) around here don't care if you're black, white or purple. We grew up liking everyone and listening to all kinds of music. One minute we were listening to The Judds on Y106.7, then we changed the station to V103 to listen to Luther Vandross, and we finish up with Weezer on Bulldog 103.7.

It's just nice to be able to listen to Brantley's and Colt's song and be able to think back to the good times when we didn't have any worries. It lets us remember where we came from.

2011 CMT Music Awards - Dirt Road Anthem - Jason Aldean - Jason Aldean Videos

No Apologies....Not Happening!

I was chastised for exploiting a news story on my facebook page in reference to a man who was arrested for trying to entice a minor for sex (or something similar). I was told this man is a person and has a family. Well, guess what….I am a person and I have a family, too and don’t want my children molested by a predator.


1. Creepy men don’t just get arrested for the hell of it. There is a reason and cause behind it. (And for the record, I personally don’t believe in “innocent until proven guilty”. Like I said, there’s obviously a reason he was arrested. We all know OJ killed Nicole but he was found innocent and we all know Michael Jackson wasn't innocent either!)

2. This creepy man used to work at the same school from where I graduated. Yes, it was several years ago but just the thought of this man having access to young people freaks the crap out of me.

3. He claims to be a Christian. I don’t know a single Christian who’s a sexual predator. I have however heard of several sexual predators/offenders that claim to be Christians.


I’m not going to apologize for offending anyone. There’s no point in it.

My Post Disappeared

I wrote a short post about Obama the other night. Sadly, it has gone MIA in cyberspace. Maybe it will return in a few days. I think the Secret Service or CIA may have had it taken down for content reasons...who knows?

One Billion Dollars Going to Waste

I just heard on the news that Obama is expected to raise nearly a billion dollars for his next presidential campaign which I am pretty sure he will suffer a huge defeat. If he can raise $1Billion in attempt to stay in office another four years why can't he make a better attempt at improving our economy?

And remember folks....Obama didn't catch bin Laden....Navy SEAL Team Six did the job along with intelligence from the CIA.

Tornado Victims

As most of us know, last week parts of the south were hit hard by severe weather and tornados. The last count that I saw on fatalities was 315. Countless numbers of families lost there homes and all of their belongings.

These people need our help. You would be amazed at how the simplest things could make a world of difference such as basic toiletries like deodorant and shampoo.

The American Red Cross accepts cash donations and you can make donations by several different methods. Text "REDCROSS" to 90999 to make a $10 donation or you can mail a check to The American Red Cross, P.O. Box 101508, Atlanta, GA 30392-1508.

The Salvation Army is also helping with the tornado victims. Text "GIVE" to 80888 or by check: The Salvation Army Disaster Relief, P.O. Box 100339, Atlanta, GA 30384-0339. Designate the check by putting in the memo field "April 2011 Tornado Outbreak".

If you have any items that you can donate that would also be a great help. Toiletries, baby items (formula, food, diapers), bottled water, non-perishable foods, clothing, bedding and tarps are currently the most needed items.

I'm Soooo Over You!!

Over the next week or so, I’ll be doing a few blogs about love songs. Everybody loves a good love song. Some people like ‘em fast and some people like ‘em slow. There’s something on my list for everyone!

Today we’ll be reviewing my top picks for “I’m still pissed off really bad” songs.

1. Rearranged by Limp Bizkit

Basically, she did him wrong. Very wrong. He would have tried to work things out but she waited too long! Now he's done.

Best Line: "You're no good for me, thank God it's over"

2. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

Everyone knows this one. He cheated and she got even. He loved his ride more than her and she hit him where it would hurt the most.
Now let me tell you, she's got cat balls. I've dug my key into the side of a truck before but never had the nerve to carve my name on his leather seats.
Come to think of it, that guy had cloth seats so it wouldn't have sent the same message.

Best Line: "Right now he's probably dabbing on $3 worth of that bathroom Polo"

3. You Outta Know by Alanis Morissette

This woman has got to be the most pissed off woman alive! The song speaks for itself.

Best Line: "And everytime I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it. Well, can you feel it?"

4. F.O.D. by Green Day

Wow...it doesn't get any more clear than this. If you're trying to tell your other half goodbye, then this is the way to do it!

Best Line: "I'm taking pride in telling you to fuck off and die"

Have you ever had that "not so fresh feeling"?

Cruising through the local "Get It All Here" store, I found myself in the health/beauty section. I frequently find myself looking for stuff to buy. I might not need it but what happens if I do and it's not at home? So I was browsing the feminine products and decided I needed to douche. I'm 27 years old...about time to clean that thing. I've had a few kids...surely it needs to be freshened up a bit.

I got home and opened the package. Skimming the directions...insert three inches. I hope it knows when to stop! Squeeze, release. Squeeze, release. Squeeze, release. Wow, this is messy. Okay, I'm done. Wipe. Put panties back on. Throw away bottle. Ahh. The feeling of clean. That wasn't so bad. Or so I thought.

My husband arrives at home and goes to his daily afternoon appointment with the bathroom. I hear an innocent yet embarrassed voice from the bathroom, "Honey, did you have Red Lobster for lunch?". I can't believe I forgot to hide the evidence of my escapade. I just left it sitting on the top of the trashcan. I quickly changed the subject and told him I needed to go to the Home Depot for switch plate covers. Anything to escape the embarrassment of him knowing what I had done.

At the Home Depot, I'm looking for switch plate covers and needed to squat down to better observe my proposed purchase. This also serves as a fine time to stretch my hamstrings. I assume the position. I look like I'm peeing in the middle of the woods. For a second it actually feels like it too. OMG, I think I'm actually peeing...here? Now!?! What happened to the bladder giving me a warning to get to the restroom. What's that smell? Fresh? Oh, no. It's douche! I douched at home hours ago! It came out...or at least I thought all of it did. There was no warning on the side of the box to avoid human contact outside of the home for a fear of a tidal wave excreting from the toot. Why me? Why now?

All I could do was run out of the store with my face covered in shame. Yeah, that's embarrassing.

Proper Spelling and Grammar

Here is a quick lesson for the people that did not have the privilege of having Mrs. Bagwell for a teacher and for the people that did take her class but failed to listen. I know it's not very thorough but it's purely intended to be used as a cheat sheet.


Lesson 1
They’re over there with their things.

There are three different meanings and three different spellings.
1. They’re – It means “they are”.
2. There – It means WHERE they are
3. Their – It means the things belong to them and no one else. (Rememer the spelling of this word is one of the exceptions to the rule "I before E except after C").

Lesson 2
You’re so right about your opinions.

Again, two totally different words often confused and misrepresented.
1. You’re – It means “you are”. It does not mean something belongs to you.
2. Your – This is possessive. It belongs to you!

Lesson 3
There are too many people going to the party for two.

This one can be tricky! Let me explain.
1. Too – A word meaning “excessive” or it can mean to be in agreement.
2. To –A preposition showing direction (there are tons of prepositions. Always remember to never end a sentence using a preposition. Your sentence is still open for discussion if you do not give an explanation after the preposition).
3. Two – A number

Lesson 4
It’s going to its grave.

1. It’s – It is. It is what it is.
2. Its – Possessive, referring to whom the grave belongs.

Lesson 5
Since you are going then, I would rather have this than that.


1. Then – It means when
2. Than – A word connecting two phrases of contradiction

Lesson 6
My pants will be loose because I am going to lose some weight.

These two words are not even pronounced the same.
1. Lose – It is when you misplace something or fail miserably.
2. Loose – The fit of something, the opposite of tight.

Lesson 7
Where are the shoes you are planning to wear to the party?
1. Where – It’s a place
2. Wear – It’s an action

Lesson 8
There's a lot of people here.

1. Do you even know what "a lot" means? A lot is a piece of land, not a group of people.
2. Save yourself the trouble and use the word "plenty" or "many".

Has McDonalds Made You Fat?

This morning I was watching (rather listening) to the news talking of a new commercial about a dead man holding a McDonalds cheeseburger. (Just for the record, I will assume McDonalds will not sue me since I’m defending their honor.) Let me say, some days it’s not easy to write a blog but on days like this, it is. Also, there's one more thing I need to say...I am not politically correct. I don't care about being politically correct. The words fat, obese and overweight mean the same thing to me. So don't get mad for me calling you fat (if you are) instead of obese. Ten pounds of fat weighs the same as ten pounds of obese.

My first question is “Why are people so quick to blame McDonald’s for their problems?” My second question is “How big is this gun McDonalds is holding to fat Americans’ heads?”

I will be the first to admit I’m fat. I know. I’m the one who can’t fit into my jeans from last season. I’m the one who has noticed the pounds getting higher on the scale. And I’m the one who doesn’t exercise. The last time I ate at McDonalds was back in October or November and it was to get the McRib sandwich (once in a lifetime event almost). But I’m not going to blame McDonalds for me being fat. I should probably blame the Chinese takeout restaurant or I could blame Ingles where I do my grocery shopping because 9 out of 10 times, we eat home cooked meals. However, my home cooked meals usually require cooking oil, bleached flour, salt, sugar, and definitely red meat.

I know that in order for me to not be fat, I’m going to have to get off my butt and exercise. I have my excuses for not doing it at this moment in time but at least I know my situation. I have friends that are in super shape and no surprise here, but they exercise. I see my friends running up and down the sidewalks in town all the time. I assume they know like I know that in order to be in great shape, you must discipline yourself to do it. I have no discipline.

I just don’t understand why McDonalds is the target of the blame for obesity. Other places have foods that are just as bad if not worse. San Francisco has banned the toys in Happy Meals because it encourages unhealthy eating in children. Does Burger King not have toys in their kids’ meals? I’ve heard also that McDonalds has caught blame for obese children because of the playgrounds. Wouldn’t the playgrounds encourage kids to be active? My kids must eat their meals before playing on the playground and what’s a better way to tire out the kids before going home! As far as adults are concerned, who is requiring them to go spend their money at McDonalds? Are their paychecks specifically written out to McDonalds? Don’t think so!

So in conclusion, to all the fat folks blaming McDonalds for you fat problems, do what my friend Delores told me once….Back that ass up from that table!

Fool Me Once

As far as politics are concerned, I consider myself independent in my opinions. I know all people have their own opinions about how things should be but we all know about opinions…everybody’s got one. I believe that people should work for what they want and not expect handouts from everyone else around. And don’t get me started on Obama. I didn’t vote for him. I don’t like the way he runs his domestic policies and I think he needs to get his head out of his ass. Okay, I’m done now.

Almost 10 years ago, I was pregnant with my first born child. I had a job but I was single and lived on my own. I made $7.50 an hour as a government employee. Several of my coworkers told me to go to the local DFACS office to inquire about getting help like WIC. I was turned down. Apparently being a 19 year old pregnant single woman making $7.50 an hour does not constitute a need for government assistance. I came to terms with the fact that I would have to do things on my own and I did.

Ten years later, I find myself going to the grocery store on Fridays during the day to do my weekly shopping (paying for it with my husband’s hard earned money, not the tax payers money) and there’s always a young woman or a young couple in front of me using their EBT card to buy their groceries. They usually have about two or three kids running around the store unruly. And then the moment comes that really pisses me off. I walk out into the parking lot to see these same people that just used their EBT card loading their endless groceries into their Chevrolet Tahoe or Nissan Pathfinder. Sometimes I want to follow them home so I can see exactly how big their homes are.

And then there are the people that capitalize on bad situations that really irritate the crap out of me. Without being too specific, I’m talking about people that use a sob story constantly. “We don’t have any money and my kids aren’t going to have anything for Christmas” or “I don’t know where my next tank of gas is going to come from”. I’ve been a victim of that sob story many times and have given the benefit of the doubt. Then when I find out that people gave thousands of dollars worth of toys to the family for Christmas and everybody from point A to point B gave $20 for gas, I just don’t know what to think. Me personally, I don’t get what I can’t afford. I don’t have an eight passenger SUV to haul my children all over creation and I don’t stay on the road.

Some people do actually need assistance at some point in their lives but what I don’t understand is why some of the same people constantly need help. It seems to me they would find the straw that’s breaking the camel’s back and stop. As President Bush would say, “Fool me once, shame on you…You fool me, you can’t get fooled again.”

The Joys of Pregnancy

This is an old diary entry of mine but thought it would be great for the new blog. Enjoy!




It's been almost 6 weeks since I had the twins and I must say, I'm much more calm and easy to deal with. I was on an 8 month mood swing from hell. While I was pregnant I got the pleasure of all the "pregnant" comments from everyone around me. Here are some of the most irritating/annoying comments I heard while I was pregnant and right after I had the babies. Also, when you read these, be sure not to say any of these anymore to anyone pregnant or a new mother.

"Wow, you're gonna have your hands full now!"
Yeah, I am. God gave me two babies and two hands.


"Did you take fertility drugs?"
Nope. Lots of sex.


"You don't look that big to be having twins."
Well, I'm only 4 months along and wasn't that fat to begin with. Thanks for the compliment but I feel like an elephant. Please sympathize with me for crying out loud.


"You're having a boy and a girl. I guess you're done now!"
Maybe I'm not. Maybe I want to have 10 more kids. Maybe I'll have 5 more sets of boy and girl twins. Maybe it's none of your freakin business.


"Are they identical?"
Well, let's see here. One has brown hair, the other has red hair. One has a penis and the other one doesn't.


"They're so small."
They were five weeks early!!!


"Do you know what you're having?"
What do you honestly care? Don't ask me unless you're planning on buying some clothes for them. (Btw, Thank you again Casey for the awesome clothes that you sent to me.)


"You'd better get your sleep now 'cause you won't be sleeping when they get here."
Please tell me how one sleeps with two watermelons hanging off their gut.


"Are you ever gonna have those babies?"
No, I enjoy having a 120 degree body temperature and rapid multiplying stretch marks. I'm gonna stay pregnant forever!


"Wow, you can really tell in your face that you're pregnant."
I guess you didn't see my stomach. It kind of gives it away too.

Do you have a name picked out yet?
Yes, Thing 1 and Thing 2. I was also thinking of Frick and Frack


Who's gonna keep her?
Some Gypsy I met online. Or either that old woman from Hansel and Gretal.


When are you due? or How far along are you?
I'm due at the end of September but my doctor said I'd have them in August. In other words - whenever the hell I go into labor.
I'm 12 months pregnant.


Are you ready for the baby?
Do I honestly have a choice.


Where are you going to have them?
Hopefully not at home.


Is this your first?
Sure, are you going to throw me a baby shower....


You know what causes that, don't you?
I thought it was miraculous conception.


Get all the sleep you can now!
Again, it's hard to sleep with my husband, a dog, a cat and 2 watermelons.


Are you sure you're gonna make it ____ more weeks?
Come to think of it, I'm feeling a contraction right now. Hey! Wait! Where are you going? Aren't you going to help me deliver the babies!!!